A ‘HOLD NO PUNCHES’ COUNSELLOR

E-MAIL LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT COUNSELLOR!

Dear Barbara Mulski

I came across your website as I’m seeking a counselor to help with me with my marriage.

I’d like to ask a few questions to learn a little more about you and the services you provide…

1) Are you married, or have been married? If so, how have you gone through difficulties in your relationship and what’s your relationship like now?

2) Can you give me at least one or two examples (case study) of previous clients who have been emotionally on completely different pages, and how you were able to bring them back together?

3)      Where do you have offices located?

I thank you in advance.

J.M.  Burnaby:  February 19, 2010

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Dear J.M.,

Thanks for your inquiry to my counselling services.

Now to answer your questions:

My office is located in a professional medical/dental building at 625 5th Avenue, New Westminster, B.C.

I was in a 40 year relationship which two years I ended due to differences of what each of us wanted to experience in our 60’s.   I am currently dating.

One case:  a couple with 2 children under 12, who started their relationship by having an affair on their partners at the time.  They were now seeking counselling to improve their communication and for him their sex life was lacking.   Three sessions in, she was caught having an affair with someone at work.  This couple decided to stay together.   I worked with them both individually and a couple of times together.  The affair is long over, and this couple is rebuilding trust in self and in each other.  It’s been a slow, long climb, but with my guidance and their courage the marriage/the relationship is being repaired and improved.

This week I saw their 12 year old daughter regarding how this all affected her behaviour.

Another case:  young Chinese couple.  30 and 35, dating for 5 years.   He loved her deeply and yet couldn’t take that next step–engagement leading to marriage. Long story short, I just received their wedding pictures the other day.   They have been married for 9 months now.

I see clients Tuesdays thru Fridays and my appointment times are 3:30 p.m, 5:30 p.m, and 7:30 p.m.

I only take on 12 sessions a week in my appointment book because I want and put a great deal of effort and energy into the clients who seek me out for help.

My couples counselling sessions are always 90 minutes long.

The first session I take in a great deal of information on both parties.

Then I start at the foundation of the relationship of where it is or isn’t before proceeding to repair or enhancement.

My counselling style is not for everyone.   I am direct–”pull no punches”, compassionate, passionate, and I don’t suffer fools.  If I don’t think I can help or the client[s] and I are not a good fit, I don’t proceed.

Change is not easy for an individual, never mind in a couple’s dynamics.   At the core of my ethos is mutual respect and the ability to listen.   Most of us don’t listen to one another.   I work from a positive regard position–not to be confused with positive thinking.

As well, I am “good” with men, and tend to specialize in men’s concerns in individual counselling sessions.

Look for E-book coming soon!

THE MEN’S ROOM-an uncensored look into the emotional world of men

I trust I have answered your questions.

Let me know when you would be able to proceed.

Regards,

Barbara Mulski

Registered Clinical Counsellor

604 537 5575

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Hi Barbara,

Thank you for such a speedy response. I’ve been to counselling in the past, and have learned a great deal. This also means that it’s hard to find a good one. I’m very much a thinker and have a strong desire to understand issues.

Long story short, I appreciate someone who’s direct and is results oriented. I also appreciate someone who has direction and a plan right from the beginning. This means to ask questions to draw whatever knowledge is needed by the counsellor, than at a later point to give back knowledge in order to assist in facilitating change.

I also appreciate your office hours, and location as they are both convenient for our schedule.   I will speak with my wife and we hope to start with you in March.
Please feel free to follow up with me if you wish, otherwise, I will keep your information close by and contact you as soon as I am able.

Thank you again for answering my questions so directly.

I look forward to meeting with you in the near future.

J.M.  Burnaby, B.C.